1st Prize - Short Story Competition 2012

"Hampered" by Iain Pattison

Lucy jumped, heart thumping, the sudden burst of noise and heat right above her head catching her by surprise. For a moment she gulped, trembling, but quickly recovered and giggled loudly. No one had told her the burner's roaring flame would be so loud - or so close.

 "You all right, love?" Grieg shouted over the racket, giving the balloon pilot a momentary dirty look. "He should have warned you."

 "Of course I am, silly," she scolded him. "Nothing to worry about. A few singed hairs, and I haven't got much of my dignity left, but it's brilliant. Just wonderful. I love it."

She smiled at him, luxuriating in the feeling of the balloon rising higher, but noting the look of concern that stayed in her husband's eyes - even as she squeezed his arm reassuringly.

Lucy knew what he was thinking - that this trip was too ambitious, that the strain would be too much, that the excitement and exertion would overwhelm her. But Grieg was wrong. It was like a tonic, a jolt of delicious electricity surging through her failing body, making her feel alive again.

"I'm not a cripple yet," she'd told him, when he'd tried to talk her out of it on the drive down to the launch site.

"But it's asking so much of yourself. And you haven't had many good days recently. You've been so tired," he'd pointed out. "I can cancel, ring up right now and tell them we've changed our minds. We can lose the deposit. I don't care about the money, only that you're happy and okay."

It was a key moment, she knew, a moment that gave a glimpse of how the future would be; how Grieg would regard her.

"If you really want to make me happy," she'd said determinedly, "treat me like a normal person. Don't let the MS win, not yet. Let me fight it…"

So here they were - a 1,000 feet up, floating magically, moving effortlessly across the Wiltshire skies. It was, Lucy told herself, difficult to explain the experience without gushing in clichés - it was simply enchanting; unreal, like something from a dream.

She'd expected it to be thrilling, of course, but what she hadn't prepared for was the absence of wind, of noise, of any feeling of movement. The basket and its occupants were just swept silently and without vibration - borne along as part of the wind, captured in its eerie cushioning bubble.

It was only by looking down at the hotchpotch of fields and hedgerows passing underneath that she knew they were moving at all.

Occasionally, the pilot would tug on his rope, causing a fierce whooshing from the burner housed directly under the canopy mouth. That would startle the sheep below, sending them running mindlessly across the grass, and eliciting puzzled barks from dogs far off.

But mostly there was silence. Total quiet. Silence enough to think - think about what had to be done.

Tugging his sleeve, Lucy tried to get Grieg's attention. He'd just spotted Salisbury Cathedral coming closer in the middle distance and was busy photographing it, marvelling at the famous spire.

Going up to the top had been one of the things they'd promised themselves they'd do, she remembered … before the multiple sclerosis had changed all their plans.

"Hey," she said. "Take one of me. Lucy on her big day out."

Pulling open her jacket, she revealed the necklace he'd got her for their last anniversary.

"What are you wearing that for?" he said, puzzled. "I hardly think it's suitable, do you?"

"I've always wanted to be Lucy in the sky with diamonds," she joked. "I've waited years for this moment." Then added softly: "And I don't suppose I'll get many more chances to wear it."

Grieg turned quickly, but not fast enough. She saw the frown - and the tears.

He busied himself, leaning over the edge of the wicker basket, taking more photographs of the city and the cathedral; shaking hands working the buttons, not even bothering to focus - taking picture after picture after picture… more than he'd ever need.

And in that crucial instant, Lucy knew what she'd decided was right. Today was the day.

Bringing her up here had been tough for Grieg, his overwhelming love and devotion battling to overcome his flood of reservations. But, she knew soon he'd smother her in his kindness and over-protection, hold her too close and prevent her living any kind of normal life.

It had to end … it had to end now while she still had any independence and feelings of self worth.

Arms protesting, she managed to inch herself to her feet from the high chair rigged up for her. Gritting her teeth, she raised herself up to the edge of the thick wicker.

Lucy prayed neither of the men would turn round, that both would be mesmerised by the view of the ancient town, its network of narrow streets and the relentless traffic pounding south towards the coast on the elevated section of the ring road.

A burst from the burner covered her moans as she began to clamber over the edge of the basket.

Only inches now…

Her fingers gripped the edge and pulled, her frail body part way over, head staring straight down. The ground below was a blur of colours and textures, like an oil painting viewed from far too close up.

Dizziness swept over her, dancing black dots exploding across her vision, ears filling with the thundering of her straining heart. Every joint burnt with fire at the exertion. The pain was unbearable - more than she could ever have dreamt.

Then, unbelievably it was there - the tipping point. Welcoming gravity took away her burden. She grasped the side of the basket - only her feeble grip preventing her tumble.

This was it…

There would only be three or four seconds before hitting the ground, she reflected - feeling both dread and exhilaration. But oh what bliss those precious instants would be. She wouldn't be crippled, dependent - she'd be a soaring bird released from captivity.

With a last heart-breaking glance at Grieg's unaware back, she prayed he would understand; would one day forgive her.

She whispered silently: "Please have an extraordinary life. Be happy. Be brave. I will always love you." and let go.

And for a fleeting, heavenly, elated moment Lucy knew what it was like to truly go out on a high …

The End